Keys of Comp-passion

Lisa Glassborow - Tuesday, August 18, 2015

“Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping him up” – Jesse Jackson

Whenever I read this quote, I conjure up this great image of a person helping another up, arm outreached, face of kindness. This person is looking at the other person kneeling down on the ground, whose shoulders are hung with a forlorn look upon their face.  The last image in this scenario in my mind is of two people standing together with a look of mutual respect, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead.

However today, with more of us walking around with faces buried in technology, or sitting at home, making our social connections and even purchasing activities on line, I ask you to consider this quote in a less tangible scenario.

Sitting behind your computer screen in the comfort of your own home, or responding to a post on FB during your lunch break, I ask that as you thumb the quick spew of raw, unfiltered words that make up your response, you challenge yourself to lift people up with what your write, not pass judgement or tear someone down.

I’m not a bleeding heart.  I love a healthy debate.  I love to hear the opinion of others on important topics.  Forming and having an opinion on a range of topics makes for great conversations and provides a platform from which people connect.  But remember that opinions are a set of views or judgements formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.

We need strong opinion to instigate change.  Strong opinion can show others you care and combined with great ideas, opinions can be very powerful and worthwhile.

But we must be mindful of when and how our opinions are delivered.  Are you simply making a point for arguments sake?  Are you being antagonistic for your own pleasure?  Have you considered your audience, or potential audience, and how your opinion affects them?

Today, a troll is no longer a cute doll with crazy hair that we had growing up as key rings or little dolls - if you were lucky enough!  A warrior is no longer a courageous soldier who goes into battle fearless, strong and brave.  A keyboard warrior, or troll, is an agent of chaos on the internet, exploiting users’ vulnerabilities, sitting in judgement, offering not a hand up, but a put down.

Reading my thoughts isn’t going to change the way these people behave.  They are who they are.

Instead, what I’m asking is that everyday Australians, like you and I, become Keyboard Champions.  Consider your audience next time you post.  Can you frame your thoughts in a way that support others?  As Keyboard Champions we can set an example for others and combat their aggression with our compassion.

Having been close to a number of ‘newsworthy events’ over time, I have come to understand that what is shared in the media, can often be delivered as a carefully crafted story to capture listeners attention and shock and wow.  Unfortunately, what is often at the heart of the story, is a little less ‘impressive’ and a little more ‘everyday’.  With so much opportunity to share our thoughts about newsworthy events it’s important to share them with integrity and compassion.

Make sure that next time you’re looking down on someone, with fingers poised over your keyboard, it iss to encourage them to do better, to be better and to help them up.

And when in doubt…use the delete button…that’s what it’s there for.

Lisa Glassborow

Hello? Is there anyone out there?

Chelsey Cooper - Tuesday, June 09, 2015

In my previous life, I worked for an amazing youth leadership development program in the USA. It was founded by an equally amazing woman who sought to provide opportunities for motivated, altruistic low-income high school students to reach their full potential. I loved working there.


Linda, the founder, was an inspiring, caring, and intimidating woman. We all greatly respected her and slightly feared her, for she was direct and honest about how we were performing. She wouldn’t hesitate to “teach us a lesson” if our approach was not helpful.


I learned a lot from her. But the lesson that weaves its way into my daily life is to always, always respond.


Have you shared news with people and received no response? Did you feel like shouting, “Hello!?! Is anyone there?!?” I have. And I’ve also been the silent person, leaving people scratching their heads and wondering why they never heard from me.


I believe that most of us intend to respond…one day.  It’s just that we feel we don’t have time right now, or we want to find the right words before we say something. But then more time goes by and it becomes increasingly difficult to say anything anymore. Our window for response has closed.


Does this ring true for you?


Well, I used to do this all the time. I’d never return phone calls. Emails would go unanswered for weeks, and sometimes never. And if I found out a friend or family member was going through hard times, like an illness or death in the family, I would do nothing because I didn’t know what to say.


Enter Linda, my inspiring and slightly scary boss. While I was working there, Linda sent an email to the entire organisation. She was in the midst of a personal crisis, as her husband of 30+ years whom she adored was dying. She wrote about her husband and how hard it was to watch him deteriorate. She alluded to the fact that she wished an illness would help speed up his slow death for the benefit of them both. It was an emotionally raw and confronting email. I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing.


A few days later, we had our regular national teleconference and Linda took a moment to share a voicemail she received from her four year old grandson. He wanted to call his Grandma after his Mum read Linda’s email to him. “Grandma, are you sad? Are you sad, Grandma? I love you Grandma.”


We all sat in silence, again unsure of what to say. Then, in a calm and commanding voice, she reported that of the 50+ staff scattered across the country, not one of us responded to the email she sent. We were about to learn a valuable lesson.


Her four year old grandson responded. It wasn’t dripping with wisdom or brilliant prose. It was simple, heartfelt and immediate and it was perfect. Understanding this was so important to the work we did with the amazing young people in our program. They deserved a response when they shared something with us because they were important to us. I realised then how valuable responding was to all the relationships in my life.


Since that day, I have done my best to respond - to messages, emails, phone calls, conversations or big news. I’m not perfect at it, but now I understand why it’s so important. By responding, I am giving back to someone who has just given to me. By responding I am being gracious and giving – and I am showing that person that they are meaningful to me. It may take energy and a bit of time, but I believe it’s one of the most important actions we can take to sustain and strengthen the relationships that matter to us most.


I am so grateful to Linda for teaching me that valuable lesson. And for all of us out there, just imagine how supported and valuable the people in our lives would feel if we all responded when news was shared – whether it is happy, uncomfortable or sad. We can get rid of that “Hello? Is anyone there?” feeling and replace it with “Hello, we’re here, we’re listening, you’re important to us and we care!”

Chelsey Cooper

Mummy's Guilt

Lisa Glassborow - Monday, May 11, 2015

“I struggled with people’s perceptions of me as a working mum, when my children were particularly young.  Especially as I didn’t have to work – I chose to work.  I felt I was always explaining to people my love for what I do and justifying my decisions.  But I am proud that my girls are growing up seeing me work, seeing me contribute to our community and our household.”

I was recently interviewed by a mummy blogger and when asked what my biggest challenges were when I set up Hatrick Communications, the honesty of my response above surprised me.  And it made me wonder how many other mum’s out there suffer from ‘mummy’s guilt’ when returning to work, or simply as they navigate the world that is motherhood.

This is not one of those pieces that talks about the ‘labour of love’, or complains about how hard it is being a mum (stay at home, or working).  I’m not singing our praises as the people who do countless hours of thankless ‘work’.

I’m not writing to make anyone feel inferior, judged or otherwise, nor do I profess to be ‘supermum’ who has all the answers.

What I do want to say to all mums is that you’re doing a bloody good job.

We balance and juggle life, and we do it in our own style, with our own flair, and to the very best of our abilities.  I don’t know any mum who deliberately starts out their day to do a bad job.

But the hard thing that I do find is that we are all consumed with some form of mummy’s guilt.

Mummy’s guilt, for me, started before conception!  We had some difficulty falling pregnant, just as everyone around us was announcing their exciting expecting news, and I began to feel guilty.  Guilty for letting my husband down, and guilty to my unborn, not yet conceived child, that perhaps I had behaved in ways when I was younger that affected my ‘child bearing parts.’

Then, of course, when I was pregnant, there was the guilt of what I ate, what I drank and what I did.  Never before had what I put into my body affected someone else!

And the day my beautiful daughter was born brought a feeling of total overwhelming love.  But also, strangely, came these intense feelings of guilt, self-doubt and the need to measure myself and my actions against any other mother I spoke to, saw, or read about.  Feelings I really had never experienced in my life thus far.  I was what most people would label a ‘confident person’.  But the feelings were undeniably strong.

Some of the ways I experienced mummy’s guilt in the early days included:


- I tried to breast feed my baby and didn’t have a sufficient supply.  I’d had a breast reduction at 18 – mummy’s guilt!

- I returned to work when my daughter was only 8 weeks old – mummy’s guilty!

- She wasn’t a sleeper – well, at night, anyway – and I was sure it was because I didn’t know her routine well enough – mummy’s guilty!

- It took me until she was 6 and 8 months old respectively to get her diagnosed with silent reflux and lactose intolerance – mummy’s guilt in abundance!


I think it wasn’t until my second daughter came along, that these feelings of guilt and self-doubt were slowly replaced with small, but noticeable feelings of confidence.  And strangely, instead of feeling like I had to look to the outside world that I knew what I was doing, I gained the confidence to talk to other mums.

I was less worried about being looked upon as less of a mother, and more concerned with getting the right advice (even if that was bits of information from a variety of people, all meshed together to suit me and my family).

I was happy to share my ‘failures’ with my friends, and comforted when I then heard that they had experienced the same ‘failures’.

When I couldn’t breast feed my second daughter, I happily gave her a bottle as I knew that’s what she needed.

BUT, when I decided- no, chose – to start my business and go back to work…mummy’s guilt reared its ugly head again.

I felt like people were saying ‘she’s got two beautiful girls, under the age of 2, and she wants to work?’  No one actually said that to me, but I ‘was sure’ they were thinking it.  Funnily enough, now, nearly four years later, people actually tell me how proud of me they are, and how they used to watch me and ‘wonder how I did it’ – but wonder with amazement, not judgement!

I won’t say it hasn’t been difficult juggling a growing business with family life.  I won’t say there haven’t been people with ideas different to mine.  But I will say that once I started talking to others, and once I started to have faith in myself and my decisions, my mummy’s guilt started to dissipate.

Mummy’s guilt is something that I will always carry, somewhere – we all will.  We want to do the best for our children and we unintentionally set high standards for ourselves.  But by acknowledging it and understanding that you’re not alone, hopefully all of our mummy’s guilt is kept in check.

I’ve learned to talk with friends, talk to my husband and children, but mostly I’ve learned to trust my instincts and believe in my choices.

So on this Mother’s Day, I wanted to say to all of the amazing mum’s out there, ‘you’re doing a bloody great job.’  Have faith…and always make time to water your own garden.

Lisa Glassborow

Read More than Mum's full article here - thanks Carlie

The SPI Project (Seeking Political Inspiration)

Lisa Glassborow - Thursday, August 21, 2014

Water Your Own Garden

The SPI Project (Seeking Political Inspiration)

Are you fed up with Australian Politics?  Have you simply had enough of hearing about fraudulent behaviour, a budget that has no balance between our countries social and financial matters, scandalous phone tapping and huge public ‘guffaw’s’?

I am.  I am totally uninspired.

We live in one of the best countries in the world.  I know that for some there is still extreme hardship and poverty, but on reflection as a whole, we live in a great nation.  I am proud to be Australian and there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t feel lucky.  I have a roof over my head, warm clothes and food for my family and I have a strong support network.

But for some that is not a reality, and at the moment, I feel as though our politicians, on all sides, have simply forgotten what their job is.  They’re missing the mark, and I for one, have had enough.

And it’s not just this budget that shows no balance between social justice and financial management.  It’s the way in which our politicians are conducting themselves.  There are no great ideas coming from our leaders.  Joe Hockey and the Liberal Party have certainly come up with some significant changes, but are any of these ideas ‘great’?  And where is the Labour Party?  Are we hearing them stand up and challenge the Liberal’s with better concepts, better ideas with strong resolutions.  NO.  There is nothing inspiring from either party, and maybe I’m asking too much, but surely we have some great Australian’s out there who have got great ideas and who are willing to stand up.

Clive Palmer – I thought you were our beacon of hope.  A self-made man, entering politics for all the right reasons.  I really thought you were doing this for the good of Australia.  I really thought ‘here we go, let’s get excited.  We have someone who is trying to make a real difference, and bring about positive change in our country, with the means to make it happen.’  But again, I am disappointed.  You, and your Senators, have bitterly disappointed me.  I’m not sure whether it is a lack of media training, poor media training, or just a total lack of morality, but what is spewing out of your mouths is not indicative of future leaders of change in our country.  You are not inspiring us at all.

I long for the days of Natasha Stott Despoja, who inspired young people like me to take an interest in politics.  You may not have agreed with everything she stood for, but she stood for something.  And it was good and it was real.  We must have more Natasha’s in our country?

And to Australia’s media – you don’t get out of this either – lift your game.  Report on what matters, and without slant and prejudice.  Help us to seek political inspiration.  You have great power – please use it for the greater good.

So I’m calling out to all Australian’s to join my call, no my demand, in ‘Seeking Political Inspiration’.  I don’t think it’s too much to expect our leaders to behave with dignity, show real leadership on the issues that matter to all Australian’s and to find a way to balance the social and financial matters of our country.  Surely we have some great minds in Australia who are ready to stand up and lead us into the future.

Perhaps we can all share what we believe the 6 major issues are for our country.  I know that our background will dictate what we see as important, and this is a good thing.  Maybe through this, we can get the attention of our government, and encourage all sides of politics to ‘lift their game’.

Australian Politicians, I want Sound Political Issues addressed.

We need Strong Political Ideas put forward.

I am Seeking Political Inspiration.

Please, we beseech you.

To kick start it, my 6 major issues include:

Ensure no Australian is living in poverty – let’s address homelessness, unemployment and the issues that lead people in all areas of our country to these situations.  Surely, if we had great minds working together we could come up with a solution for a better tomorrow for everyone.

Keep our children safe – Telstra are in trouble for sharing our google search history with the police – if we’ve got nothing to hide, why is that an issue?  Let’s forget about labelling us ‘a nanny state’ and start supporting those who are working to protect our children and communities.  Programs in schools should be widely supported that educate children about all areas of personal safety; and should the need arise, let’s ensure our legal system and penalties work to deter others from committing horrible crimes.  Let’s reduce crime.

Value all members of our society – we must look after the poorest members of our society, ensuring that they are valued and supported with dignity, respect and a ‘helping hand’.  We must care for everyone’s health, be that physical, social, mental and spiritual.  But we must remember that our community is made up of people from all walks of life, including all financial wealth brackets, and each of those groups play an important role.  Australia is rated as one of the most generous countries in the world, and the work of our Philanthropic community is often the key to making significant change and positive discoveries.

Celebrate diversity, and be proud of the Australian way – proudly, Australia is a multi-cultural nation, welcoming people from all races, religions and even personalities!  You just have to walk down the streets of Melbourne to enjoy the diversity of our community.  However, we also need to ensure that we celebrate our history.  Our schools should offer some sort of optional values based religious education, our children should celebrate Christmas in school (as well as other major holidays from our multicultural community) and we must always respect our traditional owners.  There is nothing shameful about being ‘proudly Australian’, whatever that means to you.

Financial management of our country – YES, this is important and we must ensure that our country is kept free of any type of financial crisis.  BUT, there has to be a balance.  Balance is the key, and I believe that the Budget that was handed down earlier this year has clearly missed the mark.  The important issues of our country haven’t been addressed and there is no balance in this budget.  Surely we can do better?

Be generous – I believe that Australia has always, and still is very generous in supporting other nations, through our Immigration Numbers and our Foreign Aid.  But right or wrong, I do believe that we have many people here in Australia, who are living in a situation that is less than acceptable, and I have to say that I believe that ‘charity starts at home’.  We need to continue to give generously, but we must also look inwardly and address our issues with gusto.

Congratulations, you're divorced!

Lisa Glassborow - Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Water Your Own Garden 

Congratulations, you're divorced!

No, I'm not one of those people encouraging my friends to throw divorce parties (although I'd be happy to attend one in support of a friend), but I am the friend who sees the excitement that change can bring. And I'm the friend who is excited to turn the page towards the next chapter of life in anticipation of what might lie ahead!

At 27 I found myself in an 11 year relationship that culminated in a beautiful wedding witnessed by family and friends.  The day was perfect…other than that gnawing feeling we both shared…a feeling that made us question the week before ‘why on earth are we doing this?’

Our relationship was one of those that started young, and as we grew, it didn’t.  But instead of facing up to that, we somehow just kept going with what seemed easier, and we found ourselves married.  Married and unhappy…and so 14 months later, we separated.

I’ll spare you all of the gory details, but needless to say there were many dark days and lots of heartache.  Tears flowed, questions were asked and the grieving process for something lost begun.

Now, almost 10 years on, I look back at that time, and I see that it was an opportunity for change.  An opportunity that presented itself in a difficult form, but an opportunity all the same.

So many great things came from my divorce.  Once I worked through the sadness and was able to move forward, so many new doors opened for me.  Ten years later I am married to a man with whom I share the same values, goals and dreams.  Our journey together has seen us travel interstate for some time, build our new home and has brought us the greatest gift of all, our two beautiful little girls.  And I have realised my dream of having my own business where I can spend my energy on projects I am passionate about.

I’m not naïve.  I know that I am lucky and that perhaps there was even a bit of an ‘aligning of the stars’ for me after my period of sadness.  But I also know that my positivity, my ability to believe that I deserved more and my commitment to putting out in the world, only good things, contributed to my journey.

Whether you aim to be the ‘master of your own universe’ or simply need to get through a difficult period of great change, my suggestion is to first, pick up that watering can and begin to water your own garden.  Grow your own happiness and perhaps, you too, will look back on your time of change and sadness as an opportunity to celebrate.

I’m no expert, but below are 6 ways that I got through my divorce:

  1. 1. Let yourself be sad. 
  2. Cry, grieve, mourn for your lost relationship, your lost friend, but remember that it won’t last forever.  So just let yourself be sad.

  1. 2. A brighter tomorrow will come.
  2. Whilst you’re being sad, remember that there will be a brighter tomorrow.  It might not be next week, or next month, but it will come.
  3. 3. Handle with class. 
  4. Words are like a tube of toothpaste.  Once the toothpaste is out, you can’t get it back into the tube, no matter how hard you try.  So make sure that whilst you’re going through the early stages, you only say things you will be proud to look back on – including what you write on social media!  Handle your crisis with class!
  5. 4. Water your own garden. 
  6. Take the time to pick up your watering can.  Look inwards and see what opportunities there are to work on within yourself.  Tend to your garden, which sometimes in a relationship can be left to grow a few weeds, or lack a bit of nourishment.  Spend some time on you.
  7. 5. Peer through open doors. 
  8. New opportunities can present themselves at any time, so even if you’re not feeling 100% up to it, consider something new.  It might be a new activity, change of scenery or even a new friendship.  Remember you may be vulnerable, so NO BIG DECISIONS, but sometimes a change is as good as a holiday.
  9. 6. Have faith. 
  10. Know that you deserve great things.  Whether they find you, or you go out and actively seek them, you do deserve great things.  With some time spent watering your own garden, when that next big thing finds you, you’ll be in great shape to make the most of it.

Hatrick Communications was born out of my enormous change in life, so to that I say thank you, and ‘congratulations’ to me!

Change the world with just one breath

Lisa Glassborow - Monday, August 04, 2014

Change the world with just one breath


Have you ever thought that you’d like to change the world?  Make a real difference and leave a lasting legacy?  Well you can…and it’s not that hard.


As a little girl I used to imagine that on a rainy day, when I wanted to go outside and play, if I got everyone in my street (which equated to my whole world back then) to stand outside together, look up to the sky and BLOW, we could create enough wind to blow the clouds away.  Fast forward to today, and as a not so little girl, I still believe in the power of working together to move mountains, and blow grey clouds away!


When we are surrounded by stories of abuse, neglect, bullying and tragedy, it’s sometimes hard to see the good out there.  Images that shock and rock us are being posted on social media sites, along with people who I call ‘over-sharers’, sharing their life’s drama’s or spilling their anger onto your newsfeed.  Turn the TV on and we’re faced with images of people suffering at the hands of religious fanatics, and aeroplanes being shot down out of the sky.  Pick up a newspaper and we’re reading about the children of movie stars being left to fend for themselves as their mother overdose in front of them…stop me now.  How can we change this?


Whilst there are many things in the world we have no power over, there are some things, just small, simple steps, that we can all take to help make the world a better place.  If we work together, sharing this message and the values and ideology underpinning them, who knows, we could begin a revolution that reaches the far corners of the world, and maybe we can change the world with just one breath, together.


I may sound naïve…but what harm is it for us all to try?  At Hatrick Communications, and in my family,we will adopt the following 6 small, simple steps.


Let’s join together to change the world, one positive breath at a time.

 

6 ways YOU can begin to change the world:

Inspire others – lead by example in everyday life.  Own an attitude that reflects positivity, sincerity and kindness.  Let’s use the power of social media for good.  Share messages of inspiration, positivity and good news that inspire hope and achievement.


Shift your focus – we lead busy lives, contactable 24/7 and with technology at our fingertips, our heads are often buried deep in our phones.  Spend more time with your head up.  Enjoy what you see before you.  Seek out the good and revel in it.


Simply Smile – we’ve all read that it takes many more muscles to frown that it does to smile, and we know that laughing can burn kilojoules, but really, it just comes down to keeping it simple.  Smiling feels great and is infectious.  Share a smile today.


Commit to regular RAK’s – a random act of kindness doesn’t have to be helping a homeless person get off the streets by giving them a room in your home (although imagine that – how many people have a spare room in their home?).  Keep it simple, but try it.  I dare you!


Inclusion and Acceptance – if we’re going to make inroads into a better world, we must adopt attitudes of inclusion and acceptance.  We need to teach our children to embrace difference.  Not compromising who we are, but recognising that we are all different.


Live the Golden Rule – imagine if we all treated others the way we’d like to be treated…need I say more!


Water Your Own Garden

Lisa Glassborow - Tuesday, July 15, 2014

‘Water whose garden?’

 

Have you ever looked over the fence at your neighbours garden or driven past a house and enjoyed a moment that lasted longer than a lingering glance, to admire a beautifully manicured, lush and brilliant green lawn? A lawn with grass that was cut recently, but doesn’t have any signs of excess cuttings lying amongst it; grass that looks like it has that gentle, crisp spike that when you walk on it your feet send messages to every part of your body, thanking you for the pleasure. A moment that takes you back to being a child where you ran free under the garden hose in bare feet and danced in your front yard with your sister.
I enjoy these moments quite often. I’m sure others do. But it’s what we do afterwards that matters.
For me, reflecting on another’s beautiful garden makes me feel happy for them. I admire the hard work that has gone into creating their masterpiece and I wish them well in their journey ahead as they continue to grow and develop their garden.
And then, having enjoyed sharing in another’s achievements, perhaps having even taken a few tips, I get back to the task at hand…and that is tending to my own garden. For I know that with the right nutrients, energy, attention and of course a bit of love, my garden will flourish and I will create my own masterpiece.
Water Your Own Garden is my way of encouraging you to enjoy moments of reflection, of admiration and of learning, and to then focus on your own garden - on your own life.
We are all capable of improving our lot. Sometimes only with small steps. But to begin, we have to first pick up our own watering can.
Lisa Glassborow