Water Your Own Garden is our way of encouraging you to enjoy moments of reflection, admiration and learning, and to then focus on your own garden…your life.”

Congratulations, you're divorced!

August 12 2014

Water Your Own Garden 

Congratulations, you're divorced!

No, I'm not one of those people encouraging my friends to throw divorce parties (although I'd be happy to attend one in support of a friend), but I am the friend who sees the excitement that change can bring. And I'm the friend who is excited to turn the page towards the next chapter of life in anticipation of what might lie ahead!

At 27 I found myself in an 11 year relationship that culminated in a beautiful wedding witnessed by family and friends.  The day was perfect…other than that gnawing feeling we both shared…a feeling that made us question the week before ‘why on earth are we doing this?’

Our relationship was one of those that started young, and as we grew, it didn’t.  But instead of facing up to that, we somehow just kept going with what seemed easier, and we found ourselves married.  Married and unhappy…and so 14 months later, we separated.

I’ll spare you all of the gory details, but needless to say there were many dark days and lots of heartache.  Tears flowed, questions were asked and the grieving process for something lost begun.

Now, almost 10 years on, I look back at that time, and I see that it was an opportunity for change.  An opportunity that presented itself in a difficult form, but an opportunity all the same.

So many great things came from my divorce.  Once I worked through the sadness and was able to move forward, so many new doors opened for me.  Ten years later I am married to a man with whom I share the same values, goals and dreams.  Our journey together has seen us travel interstate for some time, build our new home and has brought us the greatest gift of all, our two beautiful little girls.  And I have realised my dream of having my own business where I can spend my energy on projects I am passionate about.

I’m not naïve.  I know that I am lucky and that perhaps there was even a bit of an ‘aligning of the stars’ for me after my period of sadness.  But I also know that my positivity, my ability to believe that I deserved more and my commitment to putting out in the world, only good things, contributed to my journey.

Whether you aim to be the ‘master of your own universe’ or simply need to get through a difficult period of great change, my suggestion is to first, pick up that watering can and begin to water your own garden.  Grow your own happiness and perhaps, you too, will look back on your time of change and sadness as an opportunity to celebrate.

I’m no expert, but below are 6 ways that I got through my divorce:

  1. 1. Let yourself be sad. 
  2. Cry, grieve, mourn for your lost relationship, your lost friend, but remember that it won’t last forever.  So just let yourself be sad.

  1. 2. A brighter tomorrow will come.
  2. Whilst you’re being sad, remember that there will be a brighter tomorrow.  It might not be next week, or next month, but it will come.
  3. 3. Handle with class. 
  4. Words are like a tube of toothpaste.  Once the toothpaste is out, you can’t get it back into the tube, no matter how hard you try.  So make sure that whilst you’re going through the early stages, you only say things you will be proud to look back on – including what you write on social media!  Handle your crisis with class!
  5. 4. Water your own garden. 
  6. Take the time to pick up your watering can.  Look inwards and see what opportunities there are to work on within yourself.  Tend to your garden, which sometimes in a relationship can be left to grow a few weeds, or lack a bit of nourishment.  Spend some time on you.
  7. 5. Peer through open doors. 
  8. New opportunities can present themselves at any time, so even if you’re not feeling 100% up to it, consider something new.  It might be a new activity, change of scenery or even a new friendship.  Remember you may be vulnerable, so NO BIG DECISIONS, but sometimes a change is as good as a holiday.
  9. 6. Have faith. 
  10. Know that you deserve great things.  Whether they find you, or you go out and actively seek them, you do deserve great things.  With some time spent watering your own garden, when that next big thing finds you, you’ll be in great shape to make the most of it.

Hatrick Communications was born out of my enormous change in life, so to that I say thank you, and ‘congratulations’ to me!

COMMENTS
Sandy

August 12 2014

AMEN!!!!!!!!! Yours my friend is a happily ever after story. That I have been lucky enough to share with you & witness the up & downs that life has thrown your way. But I tell you what all those downs were so worth the heartache & learning curves because today I witness such a beautiful, happy person who has everything a girl needs & I am blessed to be your friend. XX
Danielle L

August 12 2014

Excellent advice that could be applied to many different circumstances of change, not just divorce!
Andrea

August 12 2014

Inspirational Lis, and so true:) You have now been truly blessed with a gorgeous family. Our past brings us to where we are today:)

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